Courageous Women 23: Don’t ever forget your worth!

This! To my old friend~I forgive you for hurting me, I know your Beauty & I know you are a wonderful person with many abilities! I wish you forgive me & everyone so you can heal your life! I wish all your dreams come true! :) With Love to You! Best Wishes in all!:

It’s the beginning of the end

I scarcely dare to hope …

I remember writing these words so long ago, over two years ago.

And now I stand on the other side of it all – the die has been cast, the divorce papers are in motion with Pete being served two nights ago.

A friend asked me how I feel.

I have to pause to ponder.

I am studying today and on my desk I have photos of friends and family. Today one photo caught my eye. It’s a lovely photo of my sister and I on her wedding day. She is triumphantly waving her bouquet in the air and I am following suit.

I looked into my face in the photograph and thought, “little did I know that my whole life was about to change.”

It was a day later that Pete and I split.

It’s truly regrettable that such a joyous day should be marred by what was to follow. I often admit that my sister’s wedding was my favourite wedding ever. And it triggered my feelings that my own marriage was a sham. Our marriage wasn’t equal. Not even close. It wasn’t two people of individuality with life and a purpose, but rather a desperate attempt on my part to hold the other up. A self-imposed mission that was doomed from the outset.

It took such a long time for me to see what was going on and how unhealthy it was.

But once I knew, there was no going back.

Once hope has been killed, it cannot be rekindled.

Once trust is broken – more like ripped apart and smashed, there is no way to repair it once more.

Even our love I began to recognise was not truly sincere. We meant it to be, but it was muddled in lust, hate and fear.

I cannot dwindle in silence anymore. If I see someone in a similar situation to me, I must speak out the honest truth:

It is not your fault – it never was

You are worth more – you are worth the earth

Your worth does not come from a man, or anything you could ever do, be or own

Your worth is found in YOU

In the beauty on the inside that spills out and fills the room wherever you may go

It is found in your heart beat

In the strength that is waiting to be released

I would say to you

I do say to you

Leave before it is too late

Leave before you get stuck and ensnared more and more into the lies

that manipulate and trick you into believing that it will get better

The well known saying “this too will pass”

Has no place in such a relationship

Where you are treading on eggshells in the wake of the next episode

the next backlash of violence or cruelty that awaits you

in their next unsettled mood

that they take out on those closest to them

 

Yes, the episode may pass

But the effects are forever

The trauma is real

The scars bear testament

Both seen and unseen

And those unseen are the hardest to defeat

For they begin to form the very core of your emotional being

Until you get to the place at the end of yourself where it feels like giving up

is the best course of action

And you accept your place in life, this life with no room for air

And you slowly but surely suffocate

she stayed, fix yourself, broken, one more chance, hurts you, Nikita Gill:

 

There is another course of action

Easy to say, hard to do

Leave

Again I say, Leave

get up and go

pack your bags and run

the further you get away the clearer your mind will become

I know this from experience

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”Deuteronomy 31:6:

 You will have times

where you long for their embrace

where you remember all the good times

and wonder if you’ve done the right thing

this is a normal part of the grieving process

You did love them

I loved him

but in the end, Love is not enough!

It truly is not!

I AM mourning... The person I thought I married. The love I thought we had. The life I thought we were living. The future I thought we had. I do not mourn you because you are not worth it. This quote courtesy of @Pinstamatic (http://pinstamatic.com):

 

I say with feeling,

with the knowledge that comes from experience

Sex is NOT enough!!!

What is needed is the understanding and sincerity that comes

from two people coming together and listening to each other’s heart beats

It comes from honesty

It comes from truth and being real with each other

But holding our own selves responsible for our actions

and not hiding behind the other

And then love, true love can blossom and grow

In an environment of two individuals coming together in equal union

Building each other up

Challenging the other

Listening, sharing, journeying together

This is what is in store for you if you leave

This is the relationship that you were made for

if you but hold on to the promises that have been said over you

before you were even born

Someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, or your self-worth to be with them. <3:

 

You are worth all of this and more

 

With all my love,

Christy xx

Leo Christopher • Just Once More:

 

Advertisements

About christysarah99

This blog is for all the Courageous Women out there who have stood up to their man and ended the cycle of abuse for them, their children & their families. I separated from my husband in January 2014 due to his emotional abuse and violent behaviour. I believe strongly that NO WOMAN should stay in an abusive relationship.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Courageous Women 23: Don’t ever forget your worth!

  1. Beautiful pictures you posted with your words!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s