For quite some time now, I have defined myself to a certain extent by my past. Referring to myself as the girl who is “broken yet beautiful” and to be honest this has felt comfortable and safe to me.
I am used to being vulnerable and broken … I have only ever been in bad relationships since the age of 20 … this has become ME – how I see myself.
Recently, I have been challenged about this perception of myself. Someone close to me said, if you found beauty in the brokenness and then you were broken by HIM doesn’t that mean that you are still carrying a part of him around with you?
I had to stop and consider that. To me, it had been more about emerging from the broken mess triumphant and most importantly ALIVE and this was why I have clung to the mantra beauty for brokenness.
But, on reflection I realised that yes, in holding on to that mantra I am in some ways clinging to the past. And it is holding me back from becoming the person I am meant to be.
The Christy that was always within but had to be hidden for a time.
So, I feel it is time. Time to drop the broken pieces into the hands of the only one who has the power to heal me.
And let Him once and for all Put all the pieces back together.
And then I will finally stand, pure, white and blameless.
Mended not broken.